Elul 21Love is not rude/disrespectful Disrespect cuts to the core of our being. It has the capacity to make someone feel unworthy. It sends a message of disdain. Societal norms dictate what is considered rude. We each have triggers that for us constitute rudeness. Some people show up 10 minutes early to functions so they can “get started on time” and others feel like “on time” is within 5 minutes of start time. In some families it would be considered rude to raise your voice at the dinner table and in other families lively discussions are the norm. There are family norms, workplace norms and relationship norms. There are norms that many people voice. Such norms would be calling IN ADVANCE if you need to cancel plans or you are going to run 5-10 minutes late. Swearing and hand gestures in some groups can be considered offensive. Many people find crude jokes and sarcasm as offensive. Insensitive comments can push people’s rude buttons. For many it is rude to discuss political or religious views on FB or in company where you know their views are opposing. There are some we could probably all agree upon. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse are extreme examples of disrespectful behavior. Bullying and intimidation as well as throwing objects would be considered rude. Voiced unwanted physical contact of any kind would cross lines of decency. Violent behavior and physical threats are extreme behavior as well. In our heads and sometimes aloud, we often deem such behavior as “inappropriate” or “unprofessional” and perhaps even unlawful. Rude behavior can be seen as a power play to get someone to back down or comply with your wishes. So we can include racism, sexual harassment, demands for special treatment, passive agressive behavior, the silent treatment, persistent lateness, withholding peritnent information and pointing fingers of blame to our list as well. What instances of such behavior come to mind? Was it perpetrated on you? You need to forgive them Or did you have the upper hand in it? Ask God and the other person for forgiveness. Sometimes these issues are consistent patterns in your life and are destroying your relationships or work environments...you can get help by asking God and getting into counseling. The antonym of rudeness is politeness. How are you doing in the politeness department?
Follow the season of Teshuvah during this Month of Elul with Guest blogger Denise Dee Lytle Gibbs who originally posted these blogs on her Facebook page Fall Feast Prayer Initiative.